taniaphoenix's Blog


Op tomorow

Have my hand op tomorrow, scared shitless. Totally petrfied. Add to that yesterdays diagnosis and the fact im crying my eyes out all the time and i really have  a problem. My partner just keeps hugging me and telling me that now he loves me more as we are "more alike than never, and both a little crazy!". Then he hugs me and kisses me. I know hes just trying to cheer me up so i dont take any of it to heart.

I asked him if he was going to leave me now and he said i was being stupid. That i didnt leave him even though hes severely depressed and has all these problems himself. That ive been here and helped him and looked after him, so why would he leave me?

Im so scared about all of this. I dont udnerstand it. I cant accept it. Exactly how do you find the problem when all ive had were probems for 30 years. Just pick one!!  Theres plenty there.
Last time i had a councellor the woman burst out crying so hey... lets give it a try shall we?

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Op tomorow, posted September 2nd, 2010

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